Trust is hard to come by. That’s why my circle is small and tight. I’m kind of funny about making new friends.
Trust is the foundation of all human connections, from chance encounters to friendships and intimate relationships… But some times, you may find yourself struggling to decide whether or not to trust someone.
Don’t worry its normal not to trust someone easily! I don’t trust people easily. And obviously don’t throw discernment out the window when I encounter new people, but neither do I enter into a new relationship with suspicion. Essentially, I choose to believe the best; to take people at their word, and to give people the benefit of the doubt. To put it another way, I trust people until they give me a reason not to.
Maybe you feel similarly, and even if you don’t, you’ve probably experienced broken trust in a past relationship that has caused you to question whether or not it’s worth trusting again. When you find yourself struggling to decide whether or not to trust someone, it’s important to figure out the reasons why.
Here are three common reasons that hold you back from trusting others:
People who may be hurt… Hurt! Those who have been hurt by broken relationships in the past often hurt other people as a form of self-protection. Whether it’s unnecessarily withholding trust, having unrealistic expectations from others, or operating out of low self-esteem, our past experiences with broken trust can easily derail us from developing healthy, high-trust relationships.
Critical Inner Voice
Mistrust, doubts, and suspicions are strongly influenced by the critical inner voice. This is the little guy we have in our mind since we were children; it consists of an internal dialogue that is antipathetic to our best interests and cynical towards other people. The critical inner voice is the culprit that triggers trust issues in people’s closest relationships.
Unrealistic, unspoken, and unclear expectations are a primary cause for low or broken trust in relationships, and the higher the expectations the more likely it is they won’t be met. Clarifying expectations is preventative medicine when it comes to trust. It’s much better to have the awkward or uncomfortable discussion up front about roles, responsibilities, and expectations than it is to deal with the fallout when either party falls short.
If people with whom you are interacting might be untrustworthy, then there can be high risks to you in trusting them. So should you stick your neck out and trust others? Feel free to share your thoughts and comments.
Let’s end it here!
Check out Day 1: Joy Of Traveling
Check out Day 2: Overcoming the Fear of Overthinking!
Check out Day 3: What are you Angry about? Ways to deal with your Teenage Anger!